This is personal...

Tonight was ugly. Jacob had what we call in our home, "a major meltdown." He was uber-tired and he didn't get what he wanted and it quickly escalated into hysteria and frustration. And here's the deal- this post is not about my child. This post is about me.

I "pride" myself on being a person who can figure things out. God has given me a moderate amount of intellegence and I supplement that with things I read or research. I keep trying things until I figure out what works best in a situation I am in or problem I have.

Current problem="I got nothin'." My son represents a problem that I do not have the resources, information or power to fix. Honestly, as I prayed, I realized that I think my pride is hurt. I cannot heal or repair my son's issues and that frustrates my pride. Don't misunderstand me- I hurt so much for Jacob and how he struggles. However, right now, the problem is ME. Scripture says that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Well, I don't think my mindset is humility folks.

The dictionary defines pride as a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc. The opposite of pride= humility.

Is God opposing me? So that I can see the error of my thinking? My faulty mindset that hard work and intellegence can fix that which is broken? Only God has the power to truly heal or repair broken people-where did my arrogance come from? I can see that my concept of who I am and who God is are skewed today. P.R.I.D.E. What an ugly word.

Wednesday, we have a woman from the school district coming to our house for a few hours to interview us and Jacob and watch us interact. Then she'll observe him at school and set up a plan for how to help us "train" Jacob at home. Basically, its parent training for Chris and I. Which we need. Admitting that is my baby step toward walking in humility with God.

Potty Training

Well... we started potty training Luke this week. Day 1 was pretty uneventful- a few minor accidents. Day 2 I decided to force drink Luke, giving him lots and lots of juice to ensure he got the hang of it. Mistake #1. He is a camel and can hold his pee for inordinately long periods of time. So, me taking him to the bathroom every 30 minutes was very frustrating for us both. Then he would have an accident after about 4 hours of no peeing. Tuesday morning at our house looked like "Hades- the Musical," with me starring as Satan and Luke as a little imp. After a long crying jag by Luke, yelling by me and a long nap. We all awoke in a better frame of reference. Since then, it could not have been easier. I removed myself and my ideas about how hard this should be and "How to potty train a boy" rules and just listened to my son. He tells me when he needs to go and is happy to do it. Yet again, experience does not equal wisdom on my part. The Bible says that man's ways are not God's ways and my wisdom is not God's wisdom. Another life lesson from the Lord via my 3 year old son and a potty.

Putting the 'fun' in dysfunctional... or Our trip to SeaWorld

There is nothing like getting away from it all, to put things into perspective. On our SeaWorld trip, our hotel had movies outside at night, up on the wall. Like a drive in, only with mosquitos and smores. Anyway, the showed the classic Bruce Willis homage "Over the Hedge," in which he plays a deceitful raccoon. The other main character Hammie is a turtle. At the end of the movie, they are discussing how they are all a family and sharing how families operate; what they do and dont do well. Hammie tells RJ that he would have helped him in his quest to repay a killer bear if he had only asked him beforehand. To which RJ replies, 'I wish you would have told me that sooner,' and Hammie essentially says communicating is another thing families don't do well.

What does this have to do with our SeaWorld trip you ask? Well, my dear, it has everything to do with it. We drove 5 hours to be reminded that communication is the key to any healthy relationship, whether it is husband and wife, parent and child or brother to brother. In hindsight, we probably looked like the 4 stooges- constantly miscommunicating where to meet, where to eat, what to do and where the truck keys are and no one answering their phone- shoot, even knowing where our phones were! But, dont get me wrong. We had a great time and I have the pictures to prove it to you!

The boys at the Waggin' Tales animal show. They loved seeing cats, dogs, ducks, skunks, pigs and ponies doing tricks.

And this is how close we got to the dolphins. No photo cropping required to get this close. All you need are some stinky fish and they come right up to you.

The boys after face tattoos of Dolly the dolphin and Shamu the Killer Whale. Great times!

Random post of the month...

I am awkward. There is no way around it. I have some serious social skill deficiencies. I am awkward in social situations. My poor son, no wonder he struggles. Get me in a large group and I can hide, but get me one on one or intimate setting and I struggle to stay afloat. So frustrating! People must wonder about me sometimes. How does this woman function? Arg! Fortunately for me, Jesus loves awkward people who dont always make the best choices. Thank God that I have a loving husband, family and some great friends who look out for me. Awkward women of the world unite!